Remember 1993? No? Well then this talk is for you. Come listen to [Name Redacted] relay stories of being a teenager during a time when The Internet, smartphones, and even texting was effectively nonexistent. He'll relay tales of a time when calling a girl you liked meant having to deal with the rest of her family answering the phone first, taking a road trip before even standalone GPS devices were prevalent, and the necessity of scamming the public payphone system just to get your mom to pick you up from band practice. Pagers, printers, Nintendo, and the now-abandoned concept of "going outside" await. Bring your rollerblades, it's about to get rad in here.

Bio: Working his way up from literal homelessness to a very successful career in the InfoSec realm with no formal education, @J0hnnyXm4s is here to give you a peek into his bag of tricks so you, too, can get your foot jammed firmly in the door of the World of Infosec. As the Boss of Level 3 of The Internet, he regularly interviews and hires entry-level infosec'ers (infosex0rz?), and is really, really excited about the opportunity to tell you what you're doing wrong. While not touring hilarious panels around Midwest anime and gaming cons with @hacks4pancakes, he can often be found tormenting corporate Twitter accounts and founding post-punk neo-industrial trios. @J0hnnyXm4s is the Boss of Level 3 of The Internet. He has a +16 to save vs. Horse-Limes, and his weaknesses include sloths and funny porn. He?s been independently awesome since late 2002, and professionally awesome for the past 3 years. While not (ever) busy touring as the world?s most famous professional speaker, he definitely, absolutely does NOT pass the time by posing as a scantily-clad Thomas Jefferson at the mall on 83rd and Wellington. That was definitely someone else, and further allegations of this nature will result in swift legal action against you.

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